Supernatural

Have you ever felt like there was something strange going on around you and there wasn't anyone else there? Well, last night after everyone else had gone to bed that's the feeling I got. It was extremely windy so a lot of the banging on the walls and just outside the door could probably be explained by that, and the elastic band that was swinging on the door handle in front of me was probably because the dryer was on in the laundry and blowing on it, making it swing around the door handle. All of that still didn't make me feel all that much better at the time, although after a short while I felt a bit easier.

I've heard some strange stories from my sister about Maree saying there was someone in the house, thinking she saw someone. Upon inspection by my dad, he has returned saying he found noone. I have also been in the house at times when I have heard screaming coming from her bedroom, and when I went to investigate, I was informed that everything was ok, that it was nothing to worry about.

So, here I was working on my computer, sitting at the breakfast bar in my dad's kitchen after having watched an episode of Star Trek: Voyager with dad. He had just gone to bed, which meant I was the only person still up. I heard a few creaks in the walls beside me. Nothing out of the ordinary. Then something in front of me caught my eye. It was the elastic band swinging around the door handle. That was followd by an extremely loud bang just outside the door along side me. I walked over and had a look at the elastic band. I pu my hand between it and the opening in the door to see if there was any air blowing through. I couldn't really feel too much, but there was a slight draught. The elastic didn't really stop swinging around while I was holding my hand in place, however. So I was slightly disturbed when another loud crash sounded just outside the door, followed by a lot of creaking and a few more bangs, almost sounding like someone knocking on the door.

At this point I turned the light off, hoping I wouldn't be confronted with a face at the door, which I wasn't... that is to say I didn't look long enough to see if I hadn't noticed one immediately. I then quickly turned on my heels and went to bed, shutting all the doors behind me. By this time it was 1:00am.

Heart of Worship?

Yesterday I heard some rather disturbing news and was both disappointed and upset about the decisions that some people have made, although I didn't know all the facts.

Today, after having made some phone calls to follow up on this news, I was given much more detail about the lead-up events to the decisions that I was informed of yesterday.

Given the fact that we're talking about leadership positions and our church, I'm even more disappointed in what happened to cause the outcome of one of our leaders stepping down from their position due to a dispute that they aren't even necessarily involved in. Pressures from various parties have forced them to seriously consider whether they can continue in the position as an effective leader, and the decision they came to was that they cannot.

The decision in itself isn't so much an issue for me, but the fact that there was a leadership meeting (which I attended) last week and that this issue wasn't brought up for discussion does cause me a great deal of concern. It could have been tabled and we could have come to an agreement in ways to ease the pressure that this person felt they were under. Furthermore, it may have changed some of the focus of our meeting, and impacted on some of the discussion and decisions that arose out of the meeting.

This isn't the biggest point of disappointment for me, though. As I alluded to earlier, the lead up and the way some things have been handled is nothing short of disgraceful. Leaders having children make derogatory comments on their behalf in public forums regarding other leaders is just not cricket. That's disgusting behaviour. Even if it wasn't intended, the mere fact that the comment was made at all (let alone by a child) in a public arena is despicable.

I have noticed rising tensions in the last few months, and I was hoping that things were beginning to settle down, but it seems that issues continued to simmer beneath the surface and have now come to rear their ugly head. Trouble is continually brewing as Satan tries to get a grip on the church family and create division among the Kingdom. We have to be on our guard at all times and realise that sometimes things don't always go our way. Of course, we are all only human and we'll be rubbed up the wrong way and we'll react poorly at times, but we have to be big enough to realise when we've been wrong and step up to the plate and apologise for our behaviour. Sometimes even when we are right, our behaviour is pretty poor. I know mine can be. Sometimes I can be so caught up in the fact that I know I am right about something that I let my pride get in the way and act like a child. "I was right and you were wrong" etc etc, or hammering a point home like a stubborn brat.

As Christians we are supposed to learn humility and grace. It's not always easy but it's a whole lot more satifying when we realise what has happened. We are supposed to be living examples of Christ on earth. Big shoes to fill, and something we'll never quite live up to, but something we all strive for nonetheless. We have to take a step back and remember that the Jesus Christ is the heart of everything that we do. He is the heart of worship. It's all about Him.

Sometimes we lose sight of that.

Greetings from Training College

I'm visiting Malcolm and Priah today in at the Training College in Melbourne. I've had a pretty good day today, even if the car did break down at the park when we took the kids to play in Kew (not our car, Malcolm's). I'm sitting in the library, after having had lunch and cheese & crackers up stairs on the ninth floor.

Malcolm showed me a massage chair on the first floor... nice. I need me one of those.

Anyway, since I'm just stopping in at the library quickly, I thought I'd see if I could log in. Turns out I can.

Malcolm's calling me, so I better head off. We have seven kids waiting upstiars, bugging Brooke and Priah. Might be time to rescue them.

Ventilation

I'm in desperate need of venting... Just got off the phone from my sister, which helped a great deal but still I'm a little frustrated and wound up. "It's only a game" people say... so what? I can't be annoyed with a performance or lack thereof? I have expectations and I get annoyed when they aren't lived up to. I don't like being made to look like a fool, and tonight that is just what happened.

Netball... got smashed. Cricket... lost a game we had won. I can't take the blame for the netball game. I was one of the better players, which is usually the case if I'm playing netball (even if I say so myself). Missed quite a few shots that I would ordinarily sink with my eyes shut, but still I was one of the better players in the team.

Cricket... I pride myself on my fielding. I'm usually competitive with the bat, but not outstanding, and I bowl pretty well but nothing brilliant. I'm a decent sort of all round player. Tonight, my fielding sucked, my batting sucked ... but my bowling was pretty good. Got two bowled wickets tonight, which I don't get often but I usually keep the runs down pretty well. I tend to beat the bat a lot outside off stump. Tonight I beat the bat and hit middle and leg ... and then leg later on in another over. I was happy with that.

I sat on the back net, for a couple of overs, and watched balls sailed to the left and right of me. I looked like a fool. In one over I let 17 runs past me. Noone else could field them, so it was my job. I failed. We lost the game by 9 runs. It wasn't my fault in the last couple of overs, although I did miss a runout that should have been a given. Even so, take the run for the shot and the five for the wicket, they still win by three.

I should probably go to bed because I've got a long drive tomorrow, and have to be up fairly early to go to Uni in the morning. I'm just a bit wound up and need to settle so I can sleep. I'm beginning to wind down a little now, so I might head off shortly and get organised for bed. I'm still annoyed that we lost. Not because we lost, but because I lost the game for our team. I was the weak link, and I don't like being the weak link.

Burning the Proverbial Candle?

Yesterday I seemed to be so darn tired that by the time I got home at about 5.30ish, I just flopped on the bed. Next thing I know it's 8pm and Mackala is saying goodnight to me.

I know I've been feeling a little tired lately, but that was ridiculous. At least I was resting, which perhaps can be considered as refueling time.

I haven't written in this for a few days and I'm beginning to feel like I've been neglecting something I said I was make an effort to do. We're going to Melbourne tomorrow, so that'll make it more difficult for me to write every day, but I'll endeavour to do so nonetheless.

I think the early starts (which don't really mix well with me) are beginning to catch up with me. Last week we didn't watch any old episodes of Angel (one of our favourite shows... of which I have all five seasons on DVD), but this week we've seen three or four episodes already. We've been keeping up the daily devotionals and bible reading, but some of the other things have probably slipped back in... that'snot to say we can't sit and watch an episode or two now and then. I think the late night Angel episodes and the early rises are probably buring my proverbial candle a little quickly.

We're off to Melbourne tomorrow, so most of tonight I envisage will be centred around preparing for the trip. Noone has packed yet, and we haven't really thought about what we need to take. I know I need my footy tickets... but other than that, we'll work it out tonight.

I'm hoping to get some time to do a bit of songwriting soon. I've had a song that I wrote back in December that still doesn't have lyrics. I think it's a good song (of course, I'm bias), but it's lacking lyrics (which makes it kind of hard to sing). Having recorded Undying Love already, although it still needs mixing and mastering, I'm keen to get a few more tracks down soon too... which will mean I'll be needing new material soon enough. This means songwriting is required.

Hopefully Purify My Heart will be put down next. That sounded the best I've ever heard it a couple of weeks ago when I sang it during a meeting at Oakden. I think it really needs to be done as a full-on ballad... with keys, rather than the power ballad I was initially going for. I think it works in both contexts, but the mellow version is just a haunting version of the song that can really delve deep. Looking forward to hearing how it comes out when it's finally recorded.

Not All Doom & Gloom

So last night I met with one of the client's I was talking about in my previous post. He's pretty keen to get the ball rolling, and things look pretty good for him. In saying that, he might have a default issue which will change things slightly. It means that we can't really do what we originally intended to do, but we can still make it work just the same.

I also met with Brad & John in town after Uni. We raced over to JRs to have a gander at a few different potential bass guitars that we might be able to purchase for our Corps. John and I had a look and a play of a couple. There were a few there I didn't mind, and a few that I would have loved to get my hands on... but were a little out of the price range. In the end, it was decided between Brad, the salesman and myself that the Fender Squire was the go... the P-Bass. I like the warmer sound the P pickups give, but also dig that funky, twangy J pickup sound for certain tunes. The P Bass was the most versatile and felt good under the fingers, kept its tune well and had decent factory intonation setups which I liked. John had gone by the time the decision was made, but he had looked at the J version, essentially the same guitar but not as versatile. We got it at a pretty decent price, and a gig bag thrown in. We did forget the strap though. How could we forget a strap??????????????

Anyway, back to the not all doom & gloom... In my last post I was pretty negative about the client situation. After last night, I'm pretty certain I've got at least one of them sewn up, which I'm happy about. To put a positive spin on it, it's one more client that I didn't have before last night. Now I just need to get the application forms filled out and signed. Of course, before we can do that I need to know if he does have a default against his name or not (which is why we didn't do an application last night).

I haven't had a chance to chat to the very valuable client yet. I was hoping to get hold of him last night but wasn't able to. I've managed to find another couple of ways to do what he wants to do which is always good to know. Might be the difference between taking him on board and nabbing his whole portfolio and losing an extremely valuable client with potential for a lot of work in the future. I've already lost one of those in the last 12 months and it hurts. Trying not to let that happen again.

Continued the devotional studies last night. I'm finding the things we're reading about very intriguing. Not necessarily overly relevant to my current situation directly but intriguing and applicable in other ways... and most likely directly applicable in the not so distant future.

Losing My Head?

Yesterday I mentioned a few thing I had identified as areas that I could improve to improve our quality of life and relieve some stress in our family. If you don't know, I'm a mortgage broker but I haven't exactly been writing a ton of loans. The fact of the matter is that this year (2007) I've written a grand total of one, yes one, loan. Not exactly enough to live on... not to mention the bills and money owed to other people.

Yesterday it looked as though I might have picked up 3 or 4 clients, which would have been a nice little boost to the finances. I've realised that 1 loan a month will replace one of our incomes, while one loan a week will replace our entire household income, which is the aim at this stage.

Today, I made a couple of calls... and I've managed to cross at least one client off my list (which would have been a pretty valuable client). I'll know tomorrow whether I'm about to cross another very valuable client off my list... I'm waiting on a phone call from another (I'll be calling them tomorrow to follow up) and the other one is all up in the air.

So just when a ray of hope hits my desk, it looks like the clouds were just parting momentarily.

I've got an assessment tomorrow at Uni, been feeling very tired all afternoon for some reason, found out I've lost at least one client (probably 2 and maybe 3) and then went to cricket. We started off well. Batting first, our first pair made 61, which is a pretty good score. I batted as part of the second pair. We didn't go so well. Lost a lot of wickets... and made -24. Our last pair made -10.

Needless to say I wasn't very happy.

The game continued in much the same way. We were pretty average in the field, although when it came to the crunch we managed to defend our good target set by the first batting pair for the drinks. I wasn't overly happy with some of the endeavour and I let my frustration show, particularly when I punched the net (which really didn't do anything except cut a couple of fingers on my hand).

A couple of weeks ago the key verse for the sermon was "but you, keep your head in all situations" (1 Timothy 4:5a). That lesson was quickly forgotten it seems. I got frustrated and angry with myself and my teammates, although I didn't take anything out on them. I was still able to have a laugh on the court with teammates and the opposition, but during the ball by ball play, I was very uptight about various aspects of our game.

Well, on a more positive note, I kept up the devotional and bible readings last night on my journey to bed. After doing my weights, we did some devotional readings and read from Proverbs and Psalms. Just the last couple of nights have been interesting reading and learning about different things via devotional readings.

I have an assessment tomorrow at Uni, so I'm probably going to head to bed shortly.

Faith Tank Challenge

So, here I am a couple of years on, a bit older, probably not much wiser and making my first post in nearly two years. On Sunday night we discussed refilling our faith tanks, and different things we can do to go about refuelling, things like praying, reading the bible, journaling, reading books, listening to music and resting.

The challenge was thrown out there, for those willing to accept it, to start making a routine of performing activities (or non-activities... like resting) to reill our faith tanks on a daily basis. I mentioned that I had this blog that I haven't touched in a long, long time and that I might begin to use it again. After all, it was started in an attempt to get a few things off my chest in the form of journaling on a blog, so why not use it for that same purpose again, just re-direct it a little.

Well, this would be my first post. It's Tuesday. I was going to post last night but I confess I watched Media Watch and Enough rope and then went to bed. On the upside, I did do some devotional reading and read my bible once I got to bed. That's got to count for something. Part of my old routine that I let slide and am now trying to re-introduce into my day to day life.

On Sunday I made some comments to someone at church about how life was pretty tough at the moment (although I think it's pretty trivial when my problems are compared to some other people's... such as triple by-pass surgery and not having an income for 4 or 5 months while the heart and body recover) and that I'd identified things that could improve the situation for my family and I on a number of different levels. She said that she'd pray for me and that she would forward my issues on anonymously to a prayer group (that is, I would remain anonymous... at least i think that's what she meant... either way I don't mind).

Yesterday, my wife called me at work to tell me about an offer that had been made to her by a potential purchaser of the business that she manages. She was offered a 30% stake in return for committing to 2 years as manager of the store. Of course, we haven't yet seen numbers or a formal agreement that outlines the ifs, buts and maybes, but on face value it looks like a very good deal. If the figures are what I think they are then it could well be something has a similar impact on our lives, particularly the financial aspects, as the things I had identified that were areas that could be improved upon.

God works in mysterious ways.